Blog Post #10: My Blog

The fact of the matter is that I loved writing for this blog. It wasn't an easy feat. It took a lot out of me to come up with these posts.

My younger brother once told me that these things were simple to write. I always write on the computer, so it shouldn't be anything new. He had been able to complete a blog for his science class and so thought he knew what I was supposed to be doing.

But the simple truth is that I'm an odd kind of writer. Because I have a background in writing, I had the amazing fortune of not having too much difficulty forming my words. But that does not mean I didn't find any obstacles along the way.

Not sure if anyone gets it, but his name is Odd.

I'm not sure how others work. But I am the kind of person that pours my every emotion into every word I write. And this means that I end up emotionally drained after every single thing I write, be it for my amusement or for school. I don't like writing just to finish something as quickly as possible. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. So I do my best to write as earnestly and honestly as possible, no matter what the topic of the writing may be.

I wait until the spark hits me. When inspiration runs into me like a mac truck is when I begin to write. Because I feel that if what you write is uninspired, then your readers will not be inspired to read it. And I rather enjoy people reading what I write.

Working on this blog was tiring, yet worth it. I loved every single draining second of it. It was both joyous and harrowing all at the same time and left me both content and frazzled.

Now that it is ending, I feel a tad bit saddened. But this ending is merely the beginning of another chapter in the book I call my life. Or, relating to my post on the Life Compass, it's merely a piece of the puzzle of my life I was able to fit in with the pieces I already had from before. Now I just have to find the rest of my pieces to continue moving on in my life.

And because I love relating music to my posts, I found one song that, for some reason, feels right to use.

Do It by Tuxedo:

It's upbeat, speaks of relaxing after a long week of work, and just cutting loose. These are my feelings for the end of this semester. It was my first year of college and quite the learning experience. But now that it's ending, I have a good feeling for the next few years. If life continues going on this path, I won't mind the few hiccups I'll find along the road. It'll all be worth it in the long run. I'm sure of it.

So, I sign off with one final message: We've been working all semester long, but now our break is here. Let's enjoy it, huh?

Blog Post #9: Where is the Love?

I love music that speaks to me.

The kind of songs that have an actual message to get across are the best kinds in my book. I don't care for a good beat as much as I do for a message that makes sense and makes me feel something.

I'm not sure why it is that I enjoy music like this. Most of the times my parents tell me to change the songs I find most beautiful because they call them depressing. But, really, it's not my fault that most of the songs with worthwhile messages that move me seem to be in a slow, morose melody.

Although, back when I was a kid all the way in 2009, I found one song with a thought inducing message that didn't have as depressing a melody as all the other ones I had found before then.

Now, I don't want to seem like a hipster. I'm not. I just enjoy the earlier version of Where is the Love? more than the newer version. There is something about the beat that, to me, feels like there is more soul and love put into the song. Whenever I listen to it, I get chills because it feels as if the singers were singing straight from the heart with pure, unadulterated feelings. And the chill, rhythmic beat of the sound feels reminiscent of a time when songs weren't repurposed and churned out simply to make a radio hit. It reminds me of a time when beats were created for the lyrics, not the other way around.

Inequality has been a running theme on this blog. From racial to class related, one of humanity's greatest sicknesses is prejudice. And this song calls everyone out on the way they live their lives.

We're all humans. Who picks the people that deserve more? Who has the right?

No one, that's who. But everyone wishes to be better than everyone else. And humanity seems to be inherently greedy. Even though no one has the right to decide who is more and who is less, people still try their best to make others feel like they do not deserve more of life.

"What's wrong with the world, momma?
People living like they ain't got no mommas.
                               .
                               .
                               .
Whatever happened to the values of humanity?
Whatever happened to fairness and equality?
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading animosity.
Lack of understanding leading us away from unity."

Sometimes it feels like those that have power abuse of it and forget that they too are humans. Sometimes it feels like, no matter how much one tries, if they come from a lower social class, their thoughts matter less. Sometimes it feels like everyone is out for their own selfish desires, rather than work together to better the world as a whole.

"But if you only have love for your own race,
Then you leave space to discriminate.
And to discriminate only generates hate.
And when you hate, then you're bound to get irate, yeah."

People shouldn't hang up on skin color or class origins. That only creates a wider berth for people to try and cross.

It's only when we learn to love for the heart, rather than the skin, that this world will finally begin to heal.

Blog Post #8: Education in Prison

On the 12th of October, Professor Cynthia Pittmann sent my class to an Education in Prison Seminar in the Department of General Studies inside the UPR, Rio Piedras Campus. Like the title would suggest, the conference spoke of allowing a population of inmates in Puerto Rico a university level education in General Studies for their degrees.

Various professionals spoke of how important it is to give this ostracized population the chances for education their harsh circumstances took away from them.

It isn't easy to be a teacher. Much less to teach prisoners of varying backgrounds and reasons for being convicted. But this is the second year the University of Puerto Rico's Rio Piedras Campus has done its best to bring these men and women an education they can use in the future to improve their lives.

Many guest speakers told an enraptured audience of the difficult and wonderful experiences they had while working with their respective students, all of them stressing the point that, even if one goes to prison for committing a crime, it does not mean they are any less deserving of being a human being. We all make mistakes, after all. And we all have a right to make up for those mistakes and rebuild our lives.

Secretary Licenciado Ramos emphasized the need to treat these convicts as the humans beings they are. Not as the wild animals exaggerated television shows would have us believe they are. And as human beings, they have a right to try and reintegrate themselves into functioning society, contribute the world in their own, unique way, and live their lives the way any human being is meant to. In the freedom all humans have a right to.

It's heart warming to know that there are people out there that are willing to work with this population. Because of stereotypes, most people believe prisoners are animals that deserve to be locked up. And while this may be true for a percentage of these people, it isn't fair to generalize. For every prisoner that is content to continue breaking the law, there is another that wishes to not have to break another law in his time to be able to live.

There is no black and white when it comes to humanity or individuals. There are only shades of gray for each unique person. There is no sense in trying to clump people together simply because they happen to have committed a crime. Just like there are bad people free in the world that have yet to commit a crime, there are good people in prison repenting for the crime they committed.

Blog Post #7: Orbiting Izzy

Opposites attract. It's an undeniable scientific fact. The positive end of a magnet is attracted to a negative end and vice versa.

But, sometimes science has its exceptions. And, even though the rule is that opposites attract, sometimes opposites are just too different to truly be able to coexist for long.

For my English class, my professor, Cynthia Pittmann, assigned my group to read another excerpt from Wally Lamb's Couldn't Keep it to Myself. The first story read from this book was Hair Chronicles by Tabatha Rowley and spoke of a woman's bad decisions before she landed in prison.

Nancy was all kinds of trouble

But the most recent story, Orbiting Izzy, didn't detail a woman's life of crime before she wound up in legal troubles. Instead it took on a more novel approach by following a woman's life after she had served her term and the hardships she found when she tried to reintegrate to normal society.

Nancy Whitley was a woman that was very much aware of how illegal the things she had done truly were. And she didn't try and deny how she had come about a dishonest lifestyle. If anything, she was accepting of how meeting Aldo, her dark and mysterious lover, had put her on a course of life that had landed with her in the big house.

Nancy wanted only the finer things in life. No matter what.

Still, one of the reasons why Nancy is so interesting isn't because of her life of crime. Her crimes were of a rather subtle and rather uninteresting nature when compared to things like murder and kidnapping: simple credit card fraud. Of course, it spanned over quite some time and gave her a monetary status that left her with just about everything she ever wanted, but it feels to me like a rather unassuming crime.

No, one of the reasons this short story felt so new was because of the focus on her relationship not with her trouble-making ex-husband, Aldo, but rather the one with a dull, seemingly uninteresting man by the name Isadore Weintraub. Or, as she calls him, Izzy.

The dynamic between Izzy and Nancy is rather interesting. For the first part, there's the visual ques. A short, nerdy, fat middle-aged man standing beside a tall, beautiful, busty, and well dressed woman proves to be a very stark contrast between body types that would intrigue anyone. And then there's the fact that, not only are these two characters complete opposites in physical looks, but also personality wise.

Nancy was fire while Izzy was water. She was likely to burn you if you got too close, yet Izzy was a calm and serene individual that barely did anything exciting.

The Chinese philosophy of yin and yang speaks of opposite forces actually complimentary to one another. And that, surprisingly enough, one may even give rise to another. In essence, order within chaos and chaos within order.

These two characters brought out the hidden opposite within themselves. Nancy brought out Izzy's playful side, all the while Izzy brought out her responsible side she never thought she'd ever find. They were good for each other. Until Izzy mistook their friendship for romance and everything went down the drain.

Unaccustomed and ill prepared for Izzy's feelings, Nancy did the only thing she could think of. She fled her responsibilities and went back to Aldo. And this wound up with her in jail once more.

Although Nancy most probably learned her lesson after her second visit to the big house, there was a song that kept playing in my mind as I read. I'm usually a very empathetic person and I believe in second chances. But I'm not all that big on third chances once someone has thrown away their chance of reforming their life.

Hopsin is a rap artist I'm not all that familiar with. I've only really heard one of his songs and it's the one I placed in the square above. Although from just this song, I am able to deduce that he is the kind of person that doesn't sugar coat any of his beliefs. Many people won't like that. A lot won't agree with what he says. But I have to admit that there is something admirable about not trying to tone down one's beliefs just to gain acceptance.

The reason why I place this song here is because of a specific piece of it that had me thinking on Nancy. If one were to skip ahead to 2:42, they'd hear a verse of decisions and making them. And Hopsin makes a point of showcasing that we are all responsible of our life choices and we should not make excuses for them.

Nancy didn't try to tell us that she had made mistakes nor that it wasn't her fault. But she didn't own up to them either. And she continued making mistakes simply because she didn't want to adapt to a new life. And this is why I thought of this song most of the time I was reading this interesting short story.

Blog Post #6: Life Compass

Ah, the Life Compass. Another writing activity assigned to my class by our English Professor, Cynthia S. Pittmann. And what an activity it has been!

To me, life is a great puzzle, a large mystery. The more we live, the more pieces we are given to what our future is to be. And through our experiences and the things we go through, we get closer and closer to completing the puzzle. It's an ever expanding puzzle that is meant to mystify and confuse their owners until they become wise with age. And it is meant to grow until death.

With life being a puzzle specially created to expand until death, it is rather simple to lose our way. It is only human to have moments of weakness and vulnerability. It is one of the greatest things that make us human, after all.

Why use this comparison with a puzzle? Rather simple, really. If sometimes the puzzle becomes too muddled up and confusing, we need something to get the puzzle's picture to be clear once more, right? And that's where the Life Compass comes in like a helping hand you never even knew you needed.

It's a rather simple exercise when you first think of it. Draw a circle in the middle of a page, write down Mind, Emotional, Body, and Spirit where you would normally find the cardinal directions. Once that was done, you were to rate each category with a number: 1 was the lowest score to assign, 2 was a very good balance, but not the greatest, and 3 was the highest possible score.

Seems simple, right?

Yeah, on paper, it does. Then you start working on assigning those numbers and you begin to truly think about how your day went and how external and internal factors have all affected you. Then you begin to notice the little things that irk you or make you happy and assigning one single number to how you're feeling begins to feel almost restricting.

I always managed to keep a medium score on my body's score. My back is always bothering me. If not that, then ankle or wrist. These pains usually hit me during the morning, when I usually made my compass. But they usually teeter off as time wears on during the day. But the rest of the scores fluctuated between 2 and 3.

I never assigned a 1 to any of my scores. Even on the worst of days, I still managed to feel good enough to assign a 2 rather than a 1. And I guess that's because I always try to keep a positive outlook on anything that's going on.

Still, I did notice that by the end of the project, my spirit's score began to plateau in 2 even though it had been interchanging between 2 and 3 before the last four days of the compass. And that was because I was going through a rather rough period spiritually, although I tried to remain optimistic. Although, when you start doubting your faith, it's hard to keep a steady head.

Aside from that, I noticed that I had some really good days. I can usually ignore my back because I have gotten so accustomed to it and it barely affects me anymore. Which is why, even on my best days, body always had a 2. Still, I keep a positive look on life.

This exercise really helped me reflect on my emotions and state of mind in a way that the past exercise, the First Thoughts, didn't quite reach. Although I don't think I will continue using it, like I have those past reflections. I noticed that, by assigning numbers to how I felt, I began to think of reasons why I felt kind of bad although I had experienced a rather good day. For me, it made me find everything that had gone wrong in my day. And it wasn't quite a pleasant experience to find myself nitpicking every little detail.

Although, maybe in a point of my life when I feel that stress has gotten to be too much, I may just try this exercise once more to try and find a way to help myself.

Writing this all down made me think of a song. Stand by Me. It was initially sung by Ben E. King. But it has been covered by countless artists, including John Lennon, Otis Redding, Darius Rocker of Hootie and the Blowfish, and even Prince Royce in a bachata version.

In a way, the Compass offered the helping hand the song speaks of.

Here is the version that touches me the most, one performed by various artists from around the world as part of the Art of Saving a Life campaign.